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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

It has been days. yet, i still felt the hurt so deep. I couldn't smile. i couldn't stop the tears. Nor you shoud say there isn't a single reason why i shud even try. I'm a weakling. Yes, it's must be. it was like only yesterday when i asked you how long have we known each other. you said it was since 2005. Two years is indeed not a long one compared to others. i remembered you telling me. how different i was with your other besties. you said i nv forsaken you even when you were doing things that upset me. you said i was still gentle even when you are giving up. but days after all you have said changed. it's the worse one i have ever felt, between us. never did i know it was so vulnerable. I'm not someone who says i love you. Neither am i one who express how i feel to the world. how important or how much i loved you should be clearly known in your heart. but no, you chose to think that way of me. I asked myself one night. Am i the one that is in the wrong? But I couldn't find any answers. I was the one giving in in most of the tiffs. but this time the prick is the deepest. it was most different. i don't even find myself wrong! I even hoped i could find one. So that i could apologise and try to get things back. but i couldn't. not any. I just thought. How could you think of me this way! You know i much i love you. you knew it! And yet, you have chosen to think that way. You think i would see you beg? Do you think i would take advantage of you?! I feel so disgraceful that you thought that way. You even smudged me. I can't believe you resorted to the ugliest. I can't believe you said all those things to me. Think!! Have i been unkind? I never realised i was such a lousy friend to you. I thought we were even besties. I feel so disgrace it's all a one-sided thing. What a thick-skinned bitch, i thought of myself. Yeah, maybe i was a really a lousy friend which one would rather not have. Yes, I'm stingy, lousy, mercenary. It's all proven and clearly conveyed. I can't believe the present that is happening now. I would distant away. Yes, i would get my own facts clear.

I just hope God would take away the pain implicated.


his wifey; her mummy <3
11:39 PM