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Sunday, July 15, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sent you a sms.
No reply.
Sent him one to convey.
No reply.
Wanted to pass you a lil something.
Was buffed.
Things differed.
Should haf known better.

At times,
Tears visited.
Memories recollected.
I missed those days.
I missed you.
When bullied,
when confused,
when happy,
when overjoyed,
There isn't you.
The FIRST person
I wanted to share.
The ONLY person
I could pour everything into,
Without any shame,
without any restrictions.

Even my darkest secrets,
my fears. my regrets.
The first and only ONE
I confided into.
Time past.
Things differed.
Your absences.
Your emptiness.
I've no courage
for expressions.
You know me.
You know exactly.
But right now,
I'm learning.
I'm learning to swallow
all of these,
INDEPENDENTLY.

I hanged on.
I buried those tears.
I broke down.
I held on to dearie.
I told him..
how much I missed you.
I told him..
how much I hoped you
were by my side.
I told him..
there were so much
I wanted to tell you.
So much that
it could take days.
Dearie saw how
I racked my brains,
hoping my lil something
would bring some joy to you.
My enthusiasm to get it,
even forsaking my workload.
But no, I was buffed.

The hurts and the miseries.
The misses and the yearnings.
I hid them well. I kept in down.
I told myself things differed.
I told myself I wasn't affected.
I told myself each has their own paths.
I told myself to face the present.
I was not missed.
Not loved.
In oblivion.

If not for Dearie,
I wouldn't have gone through.

For as long as I know you are happy.


his wifey; her mummy <3
3:46 PM