Tuesday, January 22, 2008
I begin to realise that there are so many things I'm unsatisfied with. Especially when I'm always suppressing my feelings towards you. I realised that I am not that candid towards you anymore. We are not as frank as in the past. I couldn't scream, jump nor cry in your presence like I used to. I could always tell you anything, even the darkest secrets. I could allow my tear to shed in front of you, ignoring my pride. But now, I dare not even tell you how I feel or throw my tantrums at you. The feeling is just so different. What has happened? Was it my over-forgiving that gotten you this way? Was I too good to you? Or worse, are you taking me for granted? Or did I not treat you with my best? I feel so confused. I don't know when you are my angel and when are you the devil. I'm not sure when you will be sweet and when will you be demanding. I feel scared at times. I didn't know when is the right time to have a talk with you. I was afraid that my words would hurt you or displease you. This is so wrong!! It shouldn't be this way. What has happened?!! You were the one I had no problems confiding into. You were the one I run into when faced with problems. You were the one that made me feel most loved. But what now? Am I thinking too much again? Or are you going to say I'm going into a depression? I tell you, I need no medication. All I need is what I have lost to be recovered. I feel so unsatisfied.
I turned to look at people around me, I grew envious at how blissed they are.
But when I looked back at myself, I feel so pathetic, feeling so unsatisfied.
his wifey; her mummy <3 1:00 PM$BlogItemDateTime$>